According to the EdWeek Research Center, 14 percent of students feel academically unmotivated. How can you make sure your child doesn’t become part of that statistic?
What motivates human beings is not black and white and differs based on the individual. However, there are a few science-backed ways you can raise your child to grow up to become a motivated and determined adult.
Encourage Curiosity & Play
“Play is intrinsically motivating, it presents an opportunity for novel experiences and for learning from others, it requires active engagement, and it can strengthen social bonds and reduce stress.” - Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University
How often does your child have time to play or explore something they’re curious about? When kids play their brain releases chemicals, like dopamine and oxytocin, that impact memory, motivation, attention and mood. Too often parents believe that in order to motivate their child, they must push their child to dedicate all their time to schoolwork. In reality, parents must make time for kids to explore their natural curiosity through play in order to develop intrinsic motivation.
Set Achievable Goals
Setting the right goals is crucial for motivating your child. If you and your child set goals that are too high, they become impossible to achieve. After failing to reach their goals time and time again, the child eventually gives up on the possibility of success and loses all motivation to try.
However if you set goals that are too easy, they become anticlimactic. Without challenge, kids won’t stay engaged and won’t find them motivating. Setting easy goals is like reading a book below your grade level. When something is too simple, it becomes boring.
Allow Your Child to be Independent
Imagine you’re at work and your boss is continuously looking over your shoulder, critiquing your work and telling you how to do your job. Over time, you’ll find yourself rolling your eyes at their approach, feeling frustrated and most of all, not motivated. This is how your child feels when you don’t give them the independence to work towards their goals on their own.
When children have the agency to make their own decisions and achieve their goals their own way, they’re more motivated, particularly when pursuing tasks they’re passionate about. Allow your child to decide how they want to complete a task, within reason. When they have the flexibility to choose their own path, they are more likely to stay engaged.
Praise Effort Not Outcome
“When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.” - Ellen DeGeneres
When your child comes home with their report card, do you praise them only for their good grades or do you praise the amount of effort they put into their classes? Praising your child only for good outcomes leads them to become performance oriented. They may be motivated to accomplish good grades, but they may also shy away from pursuing more challenging goals if success is not guaranteed.
Don’t fall into the trap of praising your child only when they achieve success. Praise them when you see they’re studying hard or putting in maximum effort, even if they don’t achieve their goals.
As a parent, focusing on integrating play into your child’s day, setting realistic goals, encouraging independence, and praising effort can create a solid foundation for your child’s future. Rather than just focusing on short-term achievements, consider the bigger picture. By fostering motivation in your child, you’ll help them develop a growth mindset and the skills to take on life’s challenges with confidence and purpose.
Motivation Parent To Do List
Age Group: 8-12 Years Old
Schedule Curiosity Time Weekly
Set aside one or two hours weekly for your child to explore an area of interest— building a Lego model, reading about dinosaurs, or conducting simple science experiments. This time will foster curiosity and allow them to learn without the pressures of grades.
Create a Goal Chart
Work with your child to set a few small, achievable goals, like reading one chapter of a book daily or completing one math worksheet a week. Track their progress visually with a chart, celebrating each completed step.
Designate a “Free Choice” Homework Session
Allow one homework session per week where your child decides how to approach their tasks independently. This session will help them develop autonomy while letting them explore different ways to complete their work without direct instruction.
Age Group: 13-16 Years Old
Encourage Weekly Passion Projects
Encourage your teen to work on a personal project they’re passionate about, such as starting a small blog, creating artwork, or learning a musical instrument. Allocate time for this each week and let them take the lead.
Set Short and Long-term Goals Together
Work with your teen to establish both short-term (studying for a test) and long-term goals (improving a subject grade). Help them break down these goals into manageable tasks to make them feel achievable. Adjust goals as they grow, so they remain challenging and engaging.
Praise Effort Regularly
Make it a habit to acknowledge their hard work, whether they succeed or face challenges. For example, if they study hard but don’t ace a test, emphasize how impressed you are with their dedication. This approach builds resilience and keeps them motivated to take on future challenges.
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